30 Things I Would Tell My 20 Year OldSelf

As I sit here on the morning of my 30th birthday I’m reflecting on everything that happened in my 20s. I’m still finding it hard to believe that this glorious decade will now be in my past. When I was 20, I assumed I would be married, have kids, and working a comfortable 9–5, at least that’s what my parents would have wanted. My path has been quite different and I’m incredibly grateful for all of the opportunities that I have been given, the people that I have met, the relationships that I have formed, the places I have visited, and the experiences that I can no longer re-create. I wanted to put together a list of 30 things that I have learned that I would have told myself at 20 years old.

When I turned 20 I was a junior in college at Indiana University. In October of 2008, I was starting to feel a bit lost and wavering off the path that I had envisioned. I decided that I was not going to drink or party until I turned 21 more than 5 months. At the time I had gotten in a decent amount of trouble, was making poor decisions, on the verge of getting kicked out of college, and wanted to make a dramatic change in my life. My goal was to try to turn a negative situation into a positive one. Ultimately I ended up launching a non-profit concert called ‘Addicted to Music’ and raised $35k from the University to throw a free concert with my one of my favorite bands. Little did I know, that decision single-handedly would have the single greatest impact in my life looking back 10 years later…

In no particular order:

1. The only thing in life that you can control is you — the amount of effort you put forth, the amount of love you give, your dedication, and your attention to those that matter most.

2. Surround yourself with people that make you want to be a better person.

3. Determine who you want to be. Define that person and the qualities that you want to endure and write it down the things that can help you accomplish that.

4. Set goals, start with small ones that you can achieve while working towards a lofty goal that you think is almost unachievable. Surround yourself with people that can keep you accountable and help you achieve these goals. Your goals will change as you grow older but never stop setting them and achieving them.

5. Don’t get in the way of yourself. Don’t let fear stop you and continue putting yourself in uncomfortable situations as often as you can.

6. Don’t bottle up emotions.

7. Identify the people in your life that you truly care about, why, and be supportive of them. So many people keep fake social media friends, those are not always your real friends.

8. Develop positive habits and routines and stick to them. Identify the negative habits and find replacements.

9. Work out every morning, even if it’s doing 5 pushups right when you wake up. Your mood will be greatly improved. Try doing 5min of meditation as well.

10. Identify your areas of weakness in both your personal and business skills. Acknowledge them and find ways to improve them or people that compliment them.

11. Always keep a positive mindset.

12. Never give up on your dreams.

13. Plan for the future, it comes much quicker than you think. I never planned at 20 where or what I would be doing at 30.

14. Manage your finances and have a realistic financial plan.

15. Don’t let your thirst for knowledge end, don’t ever stop reading or listening to audiobooks there is too much to learn (not just about business).

16. Don’t be afraid to fail, failure can be the best learning experience and make you a stronger person.

17. Volunteer — the best way to improve how you feel about yourself is to help others.

18. Have a backup plan, things don’t always work out the way that you want them to. Don’t be caught without a plan b.

19. Always be respectful to others, you never know when this can turn around and bite you in the ass in the future.

20. Cherish your time with your family, life is too short.

21. Live your life with no regrets, you can’t ever go back and get the same opportunities or chances.

22. Leverage your age, when you are young you can stand out.

23. “Keep flexing your hustle muscles” (borrowed this quote from Jamie Foxx podcast with Tim Ferriss), people are always going to be smarter than you but if you work twice as hard you can accomplish as much as them.

24. Be careful who you seek advice from, not all advice is good advice.

25. Compete with your compassion, intelligence, and kindness not with material things (designer clothes) or looks. Too many people focus on their Facebook, Instagram, or social media lives. Social media life more often than not isn’t real.

26. Learn how to say no. Not being able to give a straight no and coming up with excuses makes you look shady. Saying yes to too many things will backfire.

27. Invest in experiences, not material things.

28. Always get back up when you get knocked down. When you are feeling low challenge yourself to not stay there.

29. Trust your gut.

30. Remain authentic to who you are, don’t pretend to be someone you are not.